Trump’s Good Friend, Kim Jong-un Wins Re-Election In Overwhelming Route

Not even Donald J. Trump himself could win an election with numbers this YUGE. Congrats, Kim!

North Korean President Kim Jong-un, who was once one of America’s fiercest foes but is now turning into one of our most cherished allies, won re-election to lead the nation’s Supreme People’s Assembly (SPA) on Tuesday.

Although Kim wasn’t on the ballot, his ultra-popular North Korea’s ruling Workers’ Party won election with a stunning 99.97 percent of support from the voters. The only individuals who didn’t vote were allegedly “abroad or working in the oceans” and will likely be punished for abrogating their civic duty at a later date.

“All the electors participated as one in the election to cement our people’s power as firm as a rock,” the Korean Central News Agency said. “One hundred percent of them cast their ballots for the candidates for deputies to the SPA registered in relevant constituencies.”

President Trump once marveled at Kim’s popularity, and with those numbers, you can see his point. If it wasn’t for deep state saboteurs and the fake news, DJT would be this popular in the good ol’ U S of A!

While Kim’s authoritarian policies are not necessarily something to strive for, his impressive popularity is certainly something to be desired. The North Korean media insists that the results are “an expression of the absolute support and trust of all voters in the DPRK [Democratic People’s Republic of Korea] government.”

“The election will strikingly manifest the fixed will of our people to firmly trust and uphold to the last Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un despite storm and stress,” the ruling party’s official publication said.

In large part due to President Trump’s diplomatic breakthroughs, the Koreas are on the cusp of reunification. Kim is engaging South Korean President Moon Jae-in, and the leaders are readying to officially end the Korean War. They are even planting trees, for crying out loud!

We should all be very grateful that the North Korean people re-elected their peace-mongering leader who is great friends with President Trump. Our cultures can learn a lot from one another. North Korea can learn a thing or two about free enterprise while the United States can learn a thing or two about unity and order!

Written by Saul Levine

Saul Levine is a contributor to The Schpiel.

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