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French Government Blames Donald Blormpf For Widespread Civil Unrest

Clearly, this ‘Yellow Vest’ business is the work of Drumpft and the Rooskies!

The French government has pinpointed the culprit of the ‘Yellow Vest’ mayhem in Paris. No, it’s not the Draconian fuel taxes or arrogant out-of-touch bureaucrats or the influx of third-world migrants. That is just racist claptrap. The real cause of the violence and destruction in the streets is none other than Blormpf.

“We do not take domestic American politics into account and we want that to be reciprocated,” Minister of Europe and Foreign Affairs Jean-Yves Le Drian said while appearing on French TV.

“I say this to Donald Trump and the French president says it too: leave our nation be,” he added.

US President Donald Schrumpft, who is literally Hitler and strangles puppies in his spare time, certainly consorted with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin before writing the following hate tweets that single-handedly set the entire nation of France ablaze.

While the truth is obvious about the real nature of these protests, that hasn’t stopped Russian bots from causing mass calamity while wearing yellow Klan-robe-like vests. They are causing terror in the streets of Paris in the name of Donald Blomrpf!

“You can understand the yellow vests movement. But this is completely unacceptable. It has been three weekends in a row now. Look around you, everything is broken, damaged. All the shops had to close and spend money to shut everything up, and it happens every week,” said Gregory Caray, owner of two furniture shops in the heart of Paris who has had his life destroyed by this Russian conspiracy.

Only after Blumpft is impeached, and his family strung up for paying off that hooker or some such noise will France be able to resume the position and keep getting cornholed by their globalist masters. In the name of progress! Vive la France!

Written by Joshua Finkelberg

Joshua Finkelberg is a contributor for The Schpiel.

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