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The Clintons’ Speaking Tour Fizzles As Crooked Hillary Hacks Up a Lung

This decrepit, evil couple should be spending their waning days at home with family instead of embarrassing themselves

Bill and Hillary Clinton are a bit like the herpes of the American body politic. No matter how many times they are rejected by the people, they never seem to go away.

Bill and Crooked H have embarked upon their “An Evening With the Clintons” tour across North America, and it is not off to a good start. Their first event, hosted at the Scotiabank Arena in Toronto, only had 3,300 of the stadium’s 19,000 seats filled up. Many tickets were discounted or papered over in order to make the audience look less pathetic for the egomaniacal Clintons.

“We have a president who is the part of the cover-up as to what happened in that consulate or embassy when Mr. Khashoggi was murdered,” Hillary said during her speech. She complained about Trump throughout the night.

“It just absolutely dumbfounds me. I’ve never ever imagined that you would have a president personally attacking people who’ve put their lives on the line year after year after year, for no cause,” Hillary said regarding Trump’s attacks on deep state personnel working sediously to undermine the President.

The Crooked One also unleashed one of her signature coughing fits, as seen many times during her failed 2016 presidential campaign, during the event:

It is obvious that this woman has seen better days, but Republicans should not be concerned. If Hillary’s delusional rampage is successful, she will run yet again for President as the Democratic Party candidate in 2020. Trump has even dared her to run.

Democrats have to be pissing themselves at this very real possibility. They wanted to push Crooked Hillary for decades to be their first woman President to break the glass ceiling, but she has blown it big time. Crooked H may now destroy her Party’s viability in 2020 to fuel her lust for power.

Written by Joshua Finkelberg

Joshua Finkelberg is a contributor for The Schpiel.

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