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Pete Davidson’s Dead Eyes Tell The Whole Story

This soulless, drug-pumped cretin really ought to be put out of his misery

Saturday Night Live hack Pete Davidson is something of an oddity. He looks like he could be a drug addict or perhaps mentally challenged, but that hasn’t stopped him from gaining national fame and bedding attractive celebrities.

Perhaps it is because Davidson sold his soul to the devil. After all, he did have ‘Crooked’ Hillary Clinton’s likeness inked into his flesh after she was spanked by President Donald Trump in 2016. It should therefore surprise nobody that Davidson callously referenced America’s military heroes during a skit on SNL this past Saturday.

“You may be surprised to hear that he’s a congressional candidate from Texas and not a hitman in a porno movie,” Davidson said in a joke about Texas Republican Congressional hopeful Dan Crenshaw, who lost his eye while fighting in0 Afghanistan.

“I’m sorry. I know he lost his eye in war or whatever,” Davidson added, showing his lack of respect for the servicemen who protect our great nation.

Republicans are fighting mad over this latest liberal anti-American disgrace.

“Getting dumped by your pop star girlfriend is no excuse for lashing out at a decorated war hero who lost his eye serving our country. Pete Davidson and NBC should immediately apologize to Dan, and to the millions of veterans and military families who tune in every weekend – because they’re not laughing,” NRCC Spokesman Jack Pandol said in a public statement.

“This is absolutely disgusting. The guy did three combat tours as a Navy SEAL. Not funny in any way, shape or form,” Jake Sherman of Politico said.

“The sad thing is that this sounds more like leftist editorial than anything these days,” Donald Trump Jr. said in a Tweet.

Even his fellow SNL member Kenan Thompson, hardly a conservative right-wing individual, felt the joke went over the line.

“You know my father’s a veteran, Vietnam, and I personally would never necessarily go there, but it’s tough when you’re fishing for jokes,” Thompson told NBC News anchor Craig Melvin. “That’s how stand-ups feel, like there’s no real filters out there in the world when they try to go for a great joke or whatever. You know we try to respect that, but at the same time, when you miss the mark, you’re offending people.”

Crenshaw himself took the high road.

Davidson might as well enjoy his 15 minutes of fame while it lasts because Satan will be coming to collect his debt before long. The fall from grace that this doped out degenerate will receive will be hard and grueling before Davidson takes his rightful place in hell next to Hitler, Stalin, John McCain and other lowlifes.

Written by Saul Levine

Saul Levine is a contributor to The Schpiel.

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